Saturday, March 14, 2015

Behind the Bus

Driving home from the Woodlands, I let a school bus get in front of me on the feeder. 

Forgive me, but I have forgotten what a mistake it is to ever get behind a school bus of high school students.  I should have never forgotten this small thing, because I was a "ride in the back seat" student too.  And the fact that police were never called on us is only because the people in the cars would need to pull over to the nearest gas station to call the police on a pay phone for our back seat shenanigans.

Anyway, as I am behind this bus, in my cute little red car and my freshly cut and styled blue hair, the back windows of the bus filled up with faces and cell phone flashes.  I kept looking into my rear view mirror wondering what was going on behind me.  I didn't see anything.  I look ahead at the rear of the bus and the flashes continued.  We're stopped in traffic, so I turn around to what's going on behind me that my mirror couldn't show me.  Nothing.

Then it finally occurs to me that they are looking at me.  Or my car.  Or my hair.  I was tempted to flip them the bird, but then I would be chancing having the police showing up at my door because of the viral cell phone photo of a grown woman assaulting children with obscene hand gestures. 

It would happen to me, so I kept my hands on the steering wheel and gear shifter instead. 

I almost stuck out my tongue at the mongrels, but then again, I'd be accused of making sexual advances on minor children from exposing a body part, and then I'd have to report in as a child sex offender and have my picture on those apps that tell you where sex fiends  live, and that would be totally embarrassing, I'm sure. 

It would happen to me.  Have you met me yet?  Yes, it would happen to me.

So if you see some random pictures on the internet of me, in my car, minding my own business, taken from the back of a school bus, and I looked somewhat strained, it's because I was trying to not throw out obscene gang sign hand gestures or stick out my tongue at the heathen children in front of me. 

And that's all I've got to say about that.


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