Because of Him, I Can Be Me.
I'd really love to become one of the "it" people that people follow so that my favorite authors will get more deserved recognition and that other people can see that even though things can get hard in life, there's still opportunity to find humor when the world is trying so hard to break us into tiny shards of glass.
And I'd also want people to know, that just because someone is a Born Again Spirit Filled Christian, that does not mean that we are perfect, holier than thou, or better than others.
Followers of Jesus are broken vessels, just like every other human. Sometimes we are held together by just the finest of threads.
Sometimes we cuss.
Sometimes we start drinking wine at the ripe old age of 41.
Sometimes we read smutty books. Sometimes we laugh at inappropriate jokes and memes. Sometimes we have sweaty monkey sex with our husbands and then decide to tell the world about when that sweaty monkey sex goes terribly, terribly wrong because it's just funny, and who doesn't love a good laugh once in a while?
That does not make me any less of a Christian.
It does not cause God to love me any less.
I may break His heart sometimes, and trust me, He'll let me know all about it when I do.
But sometimes, I get it right and am able to show someone my faith through the trials we have been dealt with and how God intervened with a miracle that defies all logic.
He doesn't show up because I'm a perfect holy roller bible thumping Christian. He shows up because He's the perfect Savior for this very imperfect, Barbara.
I've never shoved anything down anyone's throat and I think y'all already know that about me.
But to know me is to also understand Who helps me keep my joy. Who helps me keep my laughter and sense of humor. Who helps me to not stab people in the neck with my pen.
He, Who keeps me from balling up into a fetal position in the corner of a room and rocking back and forth with my thumb in my mouth because I just can't deal with the cruelty that this life can offer on some days.
In this day of idiotic political correctness, right is wrong and wrong is right, up is down and down is up society, I won't hide my love for Jesus because it may offend the few or even the masses at some point.
He's why I have made it this far. He's why my name isn't on a headstone in a cemetery with the dates May 13, 1970 to May 5, 1989.
He's the reason that my first book that I'm writing, will be my first fruits offered up to Him, telling my memoirs of the many times He literally showed up to save, to heal, to make a way where there seemed to be no way.
This book will be my stories.
My walk.
My failures.
My victories.
My testimonies.
He gets my FIRST.
I'm still trying to write these stories, so there is no expected date for when it will be ready to publish. Some of these stories, I avoid writing because reliving them is like willingly putting your hand to the fire. The pain can be unbearable and to relive some stories will surely cause me to bleed all over my keyboard.
So I avoid writing them for that reason. But I won't avoid itforever. On days that I can't predict, I've written some of these stories. I have shared them with very few trusted friends and authors.
Their reactions have excited me and shocked me into believing that what I'm writing is something that people may actually want to read about.
So for those of you who have read what I've sent you, I'm so sorry this is taking me so long to complete. It may take me many more months or even years to conclude.
But when it is ready, I hope to make you proud.
Because of Him, I Can Be Me.
