To my 4 beautiful sons, if you have been wronged, I will fight for you, I will face hell and all it's demons with the Lord on my side to defend you, I will take a bullet for you, I will push you out of the way of an oncoming bus to save you instead of myself, I will fight until my death for you. And that's the truth.
In the unlikely event that you ever choose to be on the wrong side of the law, to not respect the laws of our country or the badges of the authorities, to verbally and/or physically attack any law enforcement personal...if you choose to make choices like any of these, I will still love you. I will always be your mother. I will always help people remember you how I will choose to remember you. I will always pray over you. I will wipe away every tear and will pray that if I could somehow switch places with you to keep you safe.However, you need to also know this....if you ever, do anything to cause a man of the law, to fear for his life, and to resort to restraining you in a way that causes you great bodily harm, or if that officer of the law, feels that he has to draw his gun on you because he is in fear for his own life from your actions, then don't ever forget this...I will not defend you. I will not make excuses for you. I will not stand proudly to declare your innocence. I will hang my head in shame. I will cry the tears of a mother who has lost her child. But I will carry the guilt and humiliation of a mother who will spend the rest of her life, questioning what I could have done differently to keep you from making such deadly choices. Because you see, by forcing the hand of a police officer to defend himself against your actions, you alone pulled that trigger. You alone, destroyed our family. You and only you, have changed the life of that police officer, forever. His/her family would not get back the same person that left their home earlier that day. And for that, I would feel the need to face that family and to apologize to all of them, for the actions of my son. I would ask that family to forgive me, because I had failed you, and failed them too.
Boys, you are an extension of your dad and I . You represent us. You show the world who we are with your behaviors and actions You make a mistake, and the first thing people will think is that you weren't raised right by your dad and me.
Don't ever put us through this kind of shame. Don't ever rob me of the ability to be proud of you, or to brag about you and the good you're doing in this life.
These parents you see on TV, making excuses for their children's unlawfulness, they are also part of the problem that got their child into that situation in the first place. I will never make excuses for you and your poor choices. If you do something wrong, then you will certainly suffer the consequences for your actions, without having me to defend you. And as your mother, it will destroy me to watch you suffer in any way.
So I'm asking, begging, pleading, praying, hoping and expecting, that you boys will always make your dad and I proud. That you will never bring shame into our family. That you're all strong enough to say NO to anyone trying to influence you to break our rules or any laws.
Stay strong and courageous. You only need to be still and the Lord will fight for you.
With all my love and devotion,