Sunday, February 8, 2015

Angels are Scary

I have been referred to as someone's "angel" all too many times to count.  I have been there for friends during their drunken stupors, I have sacrificed, I have prayed,
I have cried, I have mourned alongside people that I don't deserve to be in their presence.  I'm apparently an "angel" to them.  So as you can imagine,
I have struggled with that term.  I am so beyond being a saintly angel when I'm so filthy from sin.  I'm a broken vessel that has been pieced together one tiny shard at
a time by God.  I am nobody's "angel".  How could I be?  I'm too imperfect.  I'm too selfish.  God's angels are perfect and sinless.  Right?

Well I did some research on angels...

In the Bible, there are 290 mentions of angels, and 78 mentions of demons.   What's surprising is when an angel of the Lord appears, most of the time he says, "Fear not..",
why do they
say that?  Because they are scary.  Some people who have seen an angel claim that they are really huge.  Scary even.  I used to think it would be awesome to see an angel,
but after hearing what other people have said, nope.  I'm good.  My angels can stay hidden thank you very much!

There are different kinds of angels as described in the Bible.  Some are protectors to stand guard of sacred things (Garden of Eden and the Arc of the Covenant).  Other's are
fighters, warriors even (Michael the Archangel).  So no, angels aren't those chubby babies that you want to chew on their fat legs.  Angels are strong, unyielding and not to be messed with.

Well, now, a lot of these descriptions sound a lot like me.  Actually, angels don't sound so pure and perfect after all.  Some of them are warriors.  That means
they go into battle.  Going into battle is messy.  Bloody.  There are no "bless your hearts" or "I'll pray for you, sister's" being thrown around.  Battle is 
 horrific and terrifying.  It is not pretty.  Now, I can relate to this kind of angel.  I fight.  I stand guard.  I'll give it back harder than you give it if you want to go
head to head with me.   You aren't going to walk all over me.  Something about me is I am loyal.  I will take a bullet for you.  I will stand between you and whoever is on attack towards you, and yes, it's stupid and dumb because what can I do?  I'm no black belt, I'm not a ninja, I can barely use the can opener. 
But its instinct for me to protect and to fight for what's right, and that's not very Christ-like, is it?   Because we're supposed to be sweet, timid, kind, lovely and pure.   Right?  I mean, I try to be those things, I really  do.  But when the other person pulls their mouth trigger, I'm going all Trailer Park on them.   True story. 

The point I'm getting at is, even angels have a dark side to them.  They aren't the sweet fairy godmother type that we've been conditioned to believe in. 
They are warriors.  They fight.  They stand guard.  They watch.  They may even have smart mouths,  like mine.   Sarcasm is my super power, and inappropriate is my super hero name.   

I do feel that I make God laugh.  I think He tunes in a lot of the
times just to see my reality show playing in real time.   Don't ever believe that God does not have a sense of humor.  My daily events prove that my God
has a very good sense of humor. 

If I'm an "angel", then it's probably best to be afraid.  Because sometimes, I can even scare myself and that is something nobody should take lightly.

1 comment:

  1. Well said! I love it. Embrace all of your imperfect, wonderful, terrific, scary inner-angel-ness. You rock!