Monday, March 14, 2016

If I Sold My Car This Would Be My Ad

I washed my car today and during that time I started to consider what my ad would be like if I were to offer it for sale and this is what I came up with.

2003 Toyota MR2 Spyder For Sale or Trade

I really have loved owning this car.  Especially the fact that it will only allow for myself and my purse to ride in it.  Mother's of 4 sons will most likely understand the need to be alone when running into town for an errand and having a car like this makes it easy to say, "Sorry son, no room for you!" as you speed away alone with your favorite 80's music playing and not some stupid eardrum shattering nonsense being played on some hip radio station that your teenagers insist upon listening to.

I have also loved the attention that it draws where ever I go.  The honks, the waves, the constant inquiries about it.  It has made me feel that I made a very good choice in selecting this car.  

If you are wanting some attention then this is the car for you.

If you want to piss off your kids then this is absolutely car for you because they despise it when a parent drives the coolest looking car to pick them up in because then everyone notices that their mom has blue hair and it only adds to their embarrassment. 
Parent WIN.

If you want an investment car, this is the car for you.  

I once had the chance to speak to a Toyota executive and I mentioned that I owned this car, and he looked me square in the eye with all seriousness and said, "Do not ever sell that car.  It will be very valuable one day.  Do not ever sell that car."

If you want a car with some quirky "previous owner history" that you can brag to your friends about, then this is the car for you.  

Being the owner of this car and working for years as a valet supervisor at the big airport in Houston, I have come into contact with some recognizable characters, and the future owner of may find it interesting that I've driven cars of people where my ass and DNA have intermingled with the likes of JJ Watt (where I have driven his Ford F250, Lexus and after encouraging him to drive some Audi's, he came back months later driving a new Audi A7 and told me that I was absolutely right about getting an Audi) Dusty Gibbons of ZZ Top, EL James (I have never driven any of her cars but I've sat in her lap in my pajamas so that deserves to be mentioned), Connor Barwin, Charles James II, and countless others.

Also for the future owner of this car, you might like to know that a book was written with JJ Watt as the inspiration to the lead male hero and my story happens to be included in said book.  The book is called "Fumbled" by TK Rapp, where I parked JJ Watt's Lexus and he had happened to have left his lip balm in the exposed center console.  Sadly, no, I did not actually take the chapstick as told in the story.  The actual story is that I opened the lip balm, saw his lip lines, and held up my phone to take a selfie as I pretended to lick it, but then I freaked myself out by knowing just how creepy I was actually being and I recapped it and placed it back where I found it.  Still to this day, I regret that my morals decided to show up.  Yes, it was a weak moment and I will live with that regret for the rest of my life. 

This is a manual transmission or "stick shift" as some of us geriatrics would call it.  Chances of it getting stolen are pretty slim since nowadays the art of driving a stick shift has been lost to society and I believe that this alone is just more reason why people have become so incredibly stupid because no one loved them enough to teach them how to drive a stick.  
So parents, teach your kids and grandkids how to drive a stick and maybe help save them from the newest strain of "stupidity" going around. Thank you.  
God Bless America.

The car's top needs to be replaced.  I haven't done it because well, in my old age I have chosen to enjoy the cold A/C rather than worry about the top going down.  Also, I'm more mindful of sun damage on my face so using the top has not been been a priority for me the last couple of years.  Pitty, I know.  But I take pride in knowing that I appear much younger than most people my age and I just don't enjoy sweating.  Or being outside.  The only UV rays I care to be exposed to these days come from a computer or phone screen thank you very much.  Plus the heat causes my blue hair dye to drip down my face and that's never a good look for anyone.  

If you are a sun lover and don't mind scalp burns, then this is the car for you but you will need to buy a new top for it.  
Don't worry, Amazon has them because Amazon has everything.  
God bless America.

The A/C is nice and cold and the brakes have been replaced.  
The radio does not work because it needs an antennae but the CD player works and so does the tape player.  I'll even let you have my Night Ranger cassette tape to test it out.  
And if it doesn't work, so what.  
Who uses cassette tapes anymore anyways?  

I average about 30-33 miles per gallon which is sweet.

Normal and abnormal scratches along with normal road rash on the paint.  The abnormal scratch is from when our son lost his ever loving mind and ran scissors down the side of the driver's side door.  No really, he did lose his mind and we had to admit him into a psychiatric hospital after that.  Anyway, that's an entirely different subject and moving right along.

I have always managed to get all of my groceries in the car somehow, but it takes some creativity and you do end up looking like a Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies, but that was the price I was willing to pay to have this fun little car.  

Regular oil changes and maintenance have been kept up on.

Reasons I am considering selling my baby are;
  • I need a "not so recognizable car" to drive since I now have be concerned for my well being after filing a police report against a former coworker.  So I need to be less "noticed" now days.
  • I also miss having a trunk and having people riding with me.

Reasonable cash offers will be considered.  Especially if it's from a wealthy person and they spend $10k like I spend $10 at the Dollar Store.  
Bring. It.

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