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Saturday, January 10, 2015

Bad Ass Pussy

There's this man at my job that I've worked with for almost 3yrs now.   I'd describe him as a "weak" man on most days.  Other days, I'd call him a "sad" excuse for a man.   I don't hate him.  I don't anything him, other than tolerate him because I have to.  

He seems to attach himself to people he believes will protect him in some way.  People who may be considered "strong" to his "weak".  He will also attach himself to people who are much weaker than he is, so that he can feel like the strong one for a change.  

He's been making some poor choices in who his friends are at work.  Again.  And it's gotten him in some trouble with the majority of the rest of us.  I'll admit, if given the choice, I'd love to see him crash and burn from his own bad choices.  

Another coworker and I were discussing him, and I felt myself getting quite angry over the things he's tried to pull recently and in the past.

For instance, one time, a customer became very hostile and aggressive towards him, got in his face as if he was going to hit him.  I, as in, a 44yr old woman, jumped between them and got in the other man's wrath.  My coworker, whom I refer to as "a weak man", then cowered behind me for protection.  A grown ass man, hiding behind a woman, as I took on the crazy rage of an abusive customer.  I remember thinking, "No wonder he's alone.  What woman wants a cowardly man like him?  Pathetic."

Then there's the times he boasted that he had the power to get me and other people fired.  False.  Or when he would ask the young men to tell him "who was stronger, me or Barbara?"   Sad, pathetic, little man he is.

Which brings me back to the conversation with my other coworker, that had gotten me angry over the subject of Mr. Weak Man.

I said, "You know, I'd call him a pussy, but that would just insult my pussy.   She's given birth to 4 babies, so she's actually quite a bad ass.  And I love my pussy, she's amazing and can take quite a beating, and still bounce right back for more.  So I won't call Mr. Weak Man a pussy, because to do that, would be a huge insult for bad ass pussy's everywhere".

My coworker who usually laughs at something like this, just looks at me in all seriousness and says, "That was awesome.  I'm going to use that.  Wow.  I've never thought it like that before.  I've had 3 kids, one of them was 10lbs, and I'm going to say that my pussy is pretty awesome too.  Thank you!!"

Moral of the story, pussy's are bad ass beings that demand to be respected and honored.  So be sure to never, ever, insult her by calling a weak, sorry excuse for a man a pussy.    

*takes a bow and the curtain closes.....

3 comments:

  1. YASSS! I usually call those men Bahginas...guess I will need to come up with something else

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  2. Hahaha- I read this and think of Lords of Acids Pussy song playing in the background, I don't know why, but I absolutely love this post .

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