Monday, October 19, 2015

TMI Report plus BONUS Things My Husband Says

Things My Husband Says
Episode #5849586649958.
One of my medications is causing my sugar walls to irritate my husband's third leg. He's been complaining of "stinging" afterwards. I believe it's the late dose of a medication I'm taking that's causing this. He complained about it again last night after we bumped uglies.
So tonight he's poking me with his third leg and obviously he's forgotten about our 48hr rule which in Section 3 Article 9 states that no sex will be performed until 48hrs after the last sexcapades so that said wife (me) can have appropriate recovery time from hip dislocations and internal bruising. True story. This is a real rule we have.
Him poking me: I need you to help put me to sleep.
Me: It hasn't been 48hrs. You know the rules. Plus you're complaining about my medication stinging you.
Him: You talk too much. Here I've got something to put in your mouth.
Me: The medication will probably burn you from my mouth too.
Him: It's a risk I'm willing to take.
Me: No. You'll take too long and make my TMJ flair up.
Him: If you do it right it won't take long.
Me: Oh, I'm doing it wrong then huh?
Him: There's always room for improvement so you should be practicing more.
Me: I made you cry last time so I think there is nothing left to improve on!
Him: I don't remember doing that. I must have blacked out. It doesn't count if I blacked out.
Me: o_O

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