Yesterday I was peeing razorblades. My husband says it is not his fault and that it sounded more like an STD (no it's not an STD by the way). FYI, it's his fault because he forgot the proper entry order protocol.#beerdickdoesthat
I'm going to pass out.
They will find me on this nasty floor covered in pee and blood and a cracked skull from me hitting the toilet seat. It's a scene right out of one of Aleatha Romig's books!!!
I'm calling 911 in my head.
I wipe and see this red/orange color on the tissue. I think I'm having a panic attack. So, I take a picture of my pee in the toilet just in case I don't make it out of the stall alive and the automatic toilet flushes the evidence down the drain. My husband would want to know why they found his wife dead in a toilet stall so a cell phone picture should explain it to him.
*Snaps picture of my pee in the toilet.